Sunday, 30 January 2011
Book 1: Rule 3 – The Sun Knight’s Third Rule: “Even as you are dying, you’d better make sure that you die elegantly.”
I quickly rushed down the streets towards the battle scene, leaving the guide behind, for I could easily sense the strong aura of the undead ahead of me. I've never felt such a strong undead aura appearing in the city before……
(Don't tell me it's because I asked for higher level undead creatures from the necromancer? But from what my teacher told me, the Church refused to pay a lot for the necromancer's services, so they'll only summon the weakest corpses for me…?)
There was a small house ahead…… I leaped onto the roof, got a better look at the battlefield, before leaping down while yelling, "Undead creatures that violate the laws of nature and death, I, the Sun Knight of the Church of Light, swear upon the blinding sun in the sky, to wipe out this blight and cleanse this beautiful world of your evil presence!"
"Sun, you're finally here!" Leaf Knight turned to me with a relieved expression.
Standing beside him were Storm, Earth and Frost, each leading several knights from their own teams. All in total, there were about 20 or so holy knights gathered there. This was the first time I could recall such a large force being mobilised within the city.
However, I could understand the why, for a Death Knight isn't some small fry one could easily deal with…… Hold on, a Death Knight?
The probabilities of successfully summoning a Death Knight are so low that necromancers couldn't be bothered to summon one in the first place, so why is there one here?
Could he have lost his way and came here by mistake?
Due to being overly surprised, my control of my left leg slipped, causing it to bend insufficiently and collide into my right leg, which in turn caused my right knee to bend at a wrong angle, leading to my being unable to step out with my right leg properly…… in other words-
Luckily for my teacher's 'reasonable' and 'unreasonable' training, my abilities to trip elegantly are second to none. Not even the God of Light Herself would be able to trip more beautifully than me…… of course, I'm sure that the God of Light would never be so 'ungodly' as to trip in the first place!
I bent my waist and tilted my upper body forward, swept out my arms gracefully-not unlike a dancing ballerina's, flipped around 720 degrees in the air before twirling 180 degrees as I land. Touch down! Lastly, I pulled in my arms to my chest in a butterfly shape, took a deep breath and regained the Sun Knight's confident and elegant bearing.
'Clap, clap, clap, clap…!'
The audience immediately burst out into thunderous applause. One of the knights even pounded on his shield while clamouring, "Encore, encore! One more time!"
To hell with you and your 'one more time'! Oh God, why hasn't the Death Knight sent this idiot to Your Holy Being to be re-enlightened?
"10 points!" The ever nice and kind Leaf immediately gave me full marks.
"Hmph! 5 points. His landing was a bit wobbly." Ooh, curse that evil Earth! He must still be upset about me
interrupting his time with the lady.
"8 points. The trip before the queen was more beautiful." Storm……. Alright, you have a point there.
I admit that at that time to avoid humiliating myself in front of a queen, I had called upon my superhuman abilities to-beautifully and elegantly, fall down 323 flights of steps.
Ever since that incident, the Holy Temple's flight of steps hold a special place of hatred in my heart. I hate them even more than Earth.
Shit! Why build such a long flight of steps in the first place?
If it weren't for the hundreds of priests waiting to heal me at the bottom of the steps, I would have became the first Sun Knight to die from falling down the stairs.
Remember when I told you what my teacher had said? "As a Sun Knight, even if you were to trip and fall, you still have to do it very gracefully."
Well…… when I was old enough to go on missions, my teacher had said this to me, "Child, you are now finally able to go out and start carrying out missions. As your teacher, I feel immensely proud of you. But before you go, there's one more thing I have to tell you."
"Yes, teacher. I will be sure to take extra care of myself." I felt so moved. My teacher really does care about me!
"Oh, yes, of course, do take care! But remember that a Sun Knight must be elegant and graceful at all times."
"Teacher, don't worry. I will elegantly and gracefully complete my mission." I nodded obediently.
(Back then, I had already been through several hellish months of training. I had to see the priest for some high level healing every few days to heal some of the nastier injuries I received from my tripping, uh, I mean, training.)
But my teacher shook his head and said, "Child, completing a mission elegantly is only the basics"
"Then what is the next level?"
"Child, remember that should you ever fail in your missions and may be about to die, you have to……"
"Pray to the God of Light?"
"No. You have to think about how you are going to die, and contemplate about which expression you should have as you die. Should you look peaceful, or defiant? And most importantly, should you be killed by being stabbed in the heart, or should you kill yourself rather than dying at the hands of your enemy? Only when you have properly considered the best and most elegant combination, can you then gracefully die. As a Sun Knight, even if you were to die, you still have to die very gracefully!"
So, if I were to die from such an inelegant way-falling down the stairs, my teacher would probably get so angry, he'd get a necromancer to raise me from the dead just so he could make me die elegantly once more.
"Sun, this Death Knight is pretty strong. Don't underestimate him." With that, Leaf, Storm and Earth backed away, leaving some empty space for the Death Knight and me.
A few of the knights exclaimed, "Isn't it a bit much to let the Sun Knight handle the Death Knight alone?"
"Don't worry. My best friend would never lose to an undead creature." Said the Earth Knight loyally.
"That's true. Sun becomes stronger whenever he sees his most hated undead creatures. Don't go interfering with his fight, or he'll get upset. " Explained Leaf, before throwing a 'don't worry, I won't let anyone interfere with your fight' smile at me.
But-but wait a minute! That was only because those undead creatures that I've been fighting were requested by me to vent out my frustrations on!
At that moment, the Death Knight's sword burst into black flames. He opened his rotting mouth and let out an inhuman roar.
Great. Maybe I should start considering which expression and pose to die with, and chose my favourite method of dying.
I was still thinking about how I should die when the Death Knight leapt at me with his fiery sword and slashed at me…… Don't joke with me! How can I die now when I have yet to come up with the best combination of dying elegantly!
My teacher often said, "It's alright if you don't have natural talent, as long as you practice, practice, and practice. Come on, continue trip for another month, and I'm sure you'll be able to trip elegantly!"
So, if I do not die elegantly, my teacher will revive me again and again, and make me practice dying for a month until I can finally die elegantly……
That's why I cannot die before figuring out the most elegant way of dying! Or alternatively, I have to first leave instructions with Judge to chop up my body into little pieces after my death, so that my teacher would have no way of reviving me!
"He-ah!" I yelled while drawing my sword and blocking the Death Knight's blow.
"As can be expected of the Sun Knight, his aura is indeed impressive." The holy knights marvelled.
"Sun, where is your Holy Sun Blade?" Leaf exclaimed with surprise.
Fuck. The Holy Sun Blade is a priceless ancient artefact! Even though its blade remains sharp as ever, who knows if it will one day break into two?
It doesn't really matter when it breaks, as long as it does not break in my hands. Or else, not even all of my future salary will be enough to pay for it!
Furthermore, I had thought that I would only be fighting those weak undead corpses. Do you ever see anyone using a butcher's knife to kill a chicken? I would never use the precious Holy Sun Blade when letting out my frustrations. It would be rather counterproductive if I had to constantly worry about the sword breaking as I fight.
What's that? You think I'm making a mountain out of a molehill?
Fine, even if it won't break, there are still other problems.
No matter what the weapon may be, be it the Holy Sun Blade or the XX Holy Sword or the YY Malevolent Blade, the weapon's blade would eventually get blunt after using it for some time, and you'll then have to take it in to the blacksmith to sharpen it.
Now, if it were an ordinary sword, it would only cost at most 1 silver coin-which is already quite expensive-to sharpen its blade. But for a sword as priceless as the Holy Sun Blade, no ordinary blacksmith would dare to touch it. I would have to bring it to the city's best blacksmith, who would charge me at least 1 gold coin!
One gold coin! Why, I could buy an ordinary sword with that money!
And don't forget, a sword's blade gets thinner and thinner every time it is sharpened! So rather than wasting one gold coin to sharpen the Holy Sun Blade, which would make its blade thinner and thus more susceptible to breaking, I'd rather kill those undead creatures with my bare teeth!
Although, biting undead creatures is rather inelegant-not to mention difficult. So I have no choice but to spend that one gold coin and buy an ordinary sword instead.
Now I may have been grumbling here for quite some time, but I've actually already exchanged a few blows with the Death Knight. Every 'clang' as our swords clash causes me to wince internally, for unless one weapon was significantly better than the other, each hit with the other's sword is one more nick in my sword's blade. Should there be too many nicks, I'll have to send it in to the blacksmiths, and there goes another silver coin……
If it weren't for the black flames covering the knight's sword, I would have preferred to block him with my own body. After all, there are plenty of priests in the Hall of Light, and I could just ask them to heal me for free!
However, I do think it's suspicious that I have yet to be defeated by the Death Knight. Is it that the legendary Death Knight is actually not as strong as they are rumoured to be?
Or is it that I've been getting stronger without being aware of it? …… I think I better not get my hopes up.
Just a few days ago during one of our spars, I was defeated by the Judge Knight in just three moves. If I were to claim that I'm getting stronger, I think even the Death Knight with his brain half rotted away would never believe me!
Or maybe, this Death Knight I'm fighting is not really a Death Knight, but merely a 'dead knight' that just so happened to be summoned by a necromancer?
As I look at it up and down, err… His whole body is half rotted away, and his sword skills are pretty lame. It's not like I really want to admit it, but, for me to be able to ramble on and on whilst fighting him and winning…… well, my opponent has to be really horrible at…… er, I mean, is not very skilled at sword fighting.
(Don't joke. If I criticise that his sword skills horrible, then wouldn't that be admitting that my sword skills are equally poor? I admit that my sword skills aren't that good, but I wouldn't go so far as to call it horrible!)
So, this undead creature with 'not very good' sword skills is not a 'Death Knight', but a 'dead knight'.
Oh, forget it! No matter if it is a 'dead' or 'Death' knight, if I don't quickly defeat it, I'll have to spend money on a new sword, which must be avoided at all times.
Even though I admitted that I'm not that skilled with a sword, I am very good at the holy knights' specialty-holy magic. I can guarantee you, one hit and KO for the undead. The only reason I hadn't quickly killed it early on was because……
"Child, even if you encounter a really strong undead creature, remember to battle with it for some time before killing it off with holy magic." My teacher told me.
"But why not kill it off from the start?" inexperienced me could not understand his meaning.
"Child, think about it. Whenever people encounter a monster, it'll take about ten minutes for the monster to show that it is a powerful threat by killing a few people, the crowd would then take up another ten minutes screaming and panicking, and another ten minutes of scrambling about before the knights arrive to rescue them. If you use only three minutes to defeat the monster, how can you expect to please the expectant crowd who spent 30 minutes waiting for a great battle?"
"…… then, how long should I spend fighting the monster, in order to meet the crowd's expectations?"
"Child," said my teacher as he gazed into the distance. "A battle is like a poem, and you are the poet. A battle needs not only a beginning, a middle and an end, but also suspense and uncertainty. Ideally, you would let the enemy beat you into the ground (elegantly, of course). If the enemy has some standards, he would then use degrading words to belittle and demean you, and you then burst out with your hitherto unknown potential……"
"…… unknown potential?"
"Err… burst out with your hidden powers and the Holy Light magic, and elegantly defeat the enemy before dispatching him off to rest in peace. This is a perfect battle."
…… Sounds like an exhausting battle to me.
Since then, I've always hated fighting missions. Those missions are even more exhausting then having to gracefully fall down more than 300 flights of steps. So unless it was an arranged fight with the undead creatures, I would leave all battles to the Judge Knight, who defeats his enemies in one swipe of his blade.
That is why no one bothers to watch the Judge Knight's battles. They are just too boring.
Startled by the cry, I suddenly felt a great pain across my back. Before I could turn and see who had sneaked an attack at me, Leaf had sent off the 'dead knight' to rest in peace with an arrow and was turning to look at my back with concern. I could faintly hear him gasp upon seeing my back.
It's not that bad, is it? I, too, worriedly craned my neck around to look at my back, but just couldn't manage to see my injury.
However, I did see Earth summon his specialty-the Earth Shield-behind me. I may hate the guy's guts, but I have to admit that my favourite place to be is right behind his Earth Shield, especially when facing enemies who are too strong for me.
Meanwhile, Frost raised his Holy Frost Blade-which looks uncannily like an icicle-and frowned at the enemy whom he was facing off with. This enemy must be very strong indeed to be able to make Frost frown.
"Sun, don't you hurt, at all?"Ask Leaf worriedly.
I shook my head. Hmph. What? This little injury? After undergoing several months of my teacher's special 'tripping training', I have become a Sun Knight who can still smile as brilliantly as ever-even after falling down 300 flights of steps! This little pain doesn't bother me in the slightest.
"You sure it really doesn't hurt?" Leaf still sounded quite panicked.
I restrained myself from rolling my eyes at him. Darn it, Leaf! Why do you have to force me to open my mouth?
"The God of Light's gentle sunrays has helped to make the pain fade away."
"Sun, you're amazing. To call such an injury only a little painful……" murmured Leaf.
Ignoring Leaf, I turned my attention to the guy who had popped out of nowhere. He looked quite strange. At first glance, he appeared to be human, yet a closer look would tell you that he was definitely not human!
No human would look so 'faded', right?
His hair was a faded brown; his skin looked like it had been drained of its natural colour; even the clothes and armour he was wearing looked to be faded silver. The guy looked ashy grey; as if he hadn't moved for several centuries, and had let a layer of dust accumulate all over him.
When I put it like that, he just sounds like a lazy someone who has not bathed for many years and allowed dust to settle all over him, yet, I'm telling you, he was indubitably not human!
For he had no eyeballs; instead, there were two balls of grey flames where his eyes should have been!
Wow. Even the flames are cutting corners these days, what with their colour all faded away.
The only spot of colour on the guy was his sword. It was a simple and unadorned sword, but its blade gleamed in the sun, a testament to its cutting sharp edge.
Luckily, Frost's Holy Frost Blade is also not to be underestimated. It might look like any old icicle but its sharpness is definitely not that of a mere icicle!
And better yet, the Frost Knight is famous for his sword skills. I believe that even if he were to wield an icicle, he would still be stronger than me……
Anyway, Frost's style of fighting is to attack only after the enemy's first move; that is to say, he could stand there all day without moving, until the enemy eventually grows impatient and attacks, only to find himself dead with a sword run through his body.
So, Frost's battles are pretty boring too, and nobody watches them as there's not much to be seen.
And this time was no exception. The washed out guy grew impatient within a few minutes and attacked Frost with surprising speed. One moment, he was standing there; the next, he was already in front of Frost. It was as if he had never moved, managing to disappear and then reappear in front of Frost.
With such speed, it is no wonder then that he was able to slash at me even with the Earth Knight around…… I had thought that Earth had not helped me on purpose, as payback for earlier.
Thankfully, Frost's was watching the guy and managed to block his attack with his icicle…… I mean, his Holy Frost Blade.
However, this time Frost was unable to dispatch the guy as quickly as usual, and so he began fighting with the guy, both moving at incredible speeds. When I looked closely, I was shocked to see that Frost was actually losing.
I watched on excitedly ……cough… I watched on anxiously as my companion fought with the enemy when a notion suddenly came to me. A powerful knight, washed out appearance, alarmingly strong undead aura…… is he the Death Knight?!
Oh, my! Looks like it really is him.
"Sun, wouldn't you like to take care of your injuries first?" Leaf asked as he stared at my back worriedly.
"Sun is fine." I'm in the middle of watching a fight here! It's rare to see Frost having to fight with an enemy for so long. The injuries can come later.
Although I was watching excitedly, I did still notice that Frost appeared to be having a hard time. Well, he is helping me to fight off that guy, so I should help him out. After all, with Frost defeated and Earth being more of the defence type, and Leaf is a long range fighter, so…… I'd be the only one left to deal with the Death Knight!
My blood would be splattered all over the grounds in eight moves; and I'll be dead in another three!
"Frost! Let me help you!" I shouted, not all worried about him losing his concentration, for Frost has the best concentration among the Twelve Holy Knights.
As the Sun Knight who absolutely loathes the undead, more than half the skills that I've had to learn deal specially with the undead. One of them is the Holy Blessing. With it, I can bless any object, giving it some powers for a period of time and which helps to increase the damage inflicted upon an undead.
I originally thought to bless Frost's Holy Frost Blade, but it was moving too fast for me to lock-on to it.
Never mind, I'll just waste a little more energy and bless Frost himself!
"Praise be the God of Light who shines upon this land, whose bright rays of sun rid the world of darkness and evil…… (etc. etc.)" After reciting a long list of praises for the God of Light, I finally finished with, "……God's blessing!"
Immediately, Frost was enveloped by a glowing golden light and seemed to sparkle. Not only does this light increase the damage inflicted upon the undead, it can also blind your opponent, regardless if they were an undead or not!
"Sun, me too."
The ever kind and nice Leaf had gotten angry, probably because of Frosts increasing wounds. He was standing at my side sternly, and in his hands he held…… Haha! You probably think it's the Holy Leaf Blade, but you're wrong!
It's the Holy Leaf Bow.
I was too lazy to recite the long list of praises of the God of Light, so I simply grabbed the notched arrow, letting the arrowhead pierce my palm. When I let go of it, the arrowhead was covered with my blood.
As the representative of the God of Light, my blood is blessed with the powers of the God and is quite lethal to the undead!
Leaf looked at me, touched, and said, "Sun, I will not waste this sacrifice of your blood."
With the help of the Holy Blessing, Frost was now able to fight with the Death Knight more evenly, for the Death Knight was rather wary of the holy light and this hindered his movements.
However, Leaf decided to put an end to this fight and drew his bow. His eyes glinted as he stared at the enemy and aimed his arrow.
Did I mention that the moment Leaf draws his bow, he instantly switches from a very nice guy to a very scary guy? He can shoot out five arrows in ten seconds, each hitting the bull's-eye every single time.
And that's not all. He can even shoot while running, while jumping, while singing, while turning to look at beautiful women…… all the while shooting at the enemy till he is speared like a porcupine.
I would rather fight with a Death Knight than to fight with Leaf armed with his bow and arrows. If I'm no match for the former, at least I'm still able to run away. As for the latter…… Well, I can't outrun an arrow, can I?
An arrow flew past me and buried itself into the enemy's chest, just as he was dodging Frost's attack. While an ordinary arrow may have no effect on the already dead Death Knight, an arrow covered in my blessed blood is another thing altogether.
The Death Knight's chest started sizzling-like a fish on a grill-and soon, there was a hollow pit where Leaf's arrow had struck him. No blood flowed from it, but his wounds oozed a sticky black substance.
This seemed to encouraged Frost even more and his attacks speed up, managing to hit the Death Knight on his right arm and causing him to emit an inhuman roar. This hit had cut through the bone and had nearly severed it from the rest of his arm. His arm dangled, connected to the rest of his arm by a few scraps of muscle.
The Death Knight immediately retreated, too fast for Frost to chase after him. But don't forget, we have Leaf on our side!
No matter how fast the Death Knight is, he cannot outrun an arrow!
'Shuute, shuute, shuute. '
It was a testament to how fast he was that the Death Knight was able to dodge the first two arrows, but the third arrow found its mark. It was a pity that the last arrow was not covered with my blood. He couldn't even be bothered to pull it out as it had absolutely no effect on him.
I smiled faintly and grabbed the next arrow's head, covering it with my blood. Then, thinking about it, I dripped my blood onto the remaining arrows in Leaf's quiver. There, even if Leaf missed the next one, he'll have more blessed arrows.
True to form, Leaf began to continuously shoot out arrows. Even though most of them were dodged, at least a few still managed to hit the Death Knight, each causing Death Knight to moan in pain.
"Oh, no! He's running away!" shouted Leaf while shooting out arrows even quicker than before. I could only see a blur of movements and hear the sounds as the arrows fly pass me. As expected of the Twelve Holy Knight's archer, Leaf.
The Death Knight could do nothing against this barrage of raining arrows but dodge them and run further away……
"Sun Knight! I will definitely come back for you!" Shouted the Death Knight when he was a mere speck in the distance…… Hold on, did he just threaten the Sun Knight……me?!
W-wait a minute! What's it got to do with me? I'm not the one who hit you!
As the saying goes, 'Every injustice has its perpetrator and every debt its debtor'. I had only blessed some holy light on Frost and covered some arrows with my blood! The ones who had hit you were them, not me!
I felt like weeping. Not only did I suffer a hit to my back, I somehow managed to unknowingly provoke a real Death Knight. What have I done to deserve all this?!
Frost sheathed his sword and Earth retracted his shield, before turning to look at me with a severe expression. But for some reason, the moment they saw me, they looked stunned.
"Sun, you……are you alright?" asked Earth, looking like he had just seen a ghost.
I emphatically shook my head. Why is everyone looking at me like that?
Frost kept silent, but his gaze dropped from my face to the ground, all the while looking a little dazed. Curious, I followed his gaze and looked down.
Oh, my! Where did all the blood come from? All the bright red looked rather startling-and impressive-against the brown cobbled street.
Hold on! Why are my white pants leg stained red?
"Sun…… are you sure you're OK?" Leaf sounded like he was fighting to hold back his tears.
Don't tell me that…… this whole floor of blood……is mine?
"Leaf…" I said, before realising that how faint my voice was.
"Yes?" Leaf quickly drew closer. I was probably too soft for him to hear.
"Give me a hand……"
And then, I-extremely elegantly-passed out.
Book 1: Rule 2 – The Sun Knight’s Second Rule: “Elegant, Graceful, and most importantly-glowing fair skin”
*Disclaimer note: This is merely a translation of the original Chinese version. I do not claim any part in the creation of the original story.
To reward the successful completion of our mission, both Storm and I were given a few days off.
Although it might have been because the Pope took pity on Storm when he saw Storm's swollen eyes, and the fact that he kept crashing into pillars……(Or maybe he actually couldn't bear to see another pillar ruined, for each of these pillars were decorated with carvings and were quite pricey!)
Upon receiving the order to take a few days off, without speaking a word, Storm immediately left the Hall of Light and rushed for the base of the Holy Knights – the Holy Temple.
This is because there are many women amongst the priests in the Hall of Light, while the Holy Temple has not a single woman.
It is a very difficult thing to wink at a woman - even a female priest as lovely as a goddess, when your eyes are terribly swollen.
And so Storm left like a gust of wind, and although I, too, could not wait to begin my holiday, I could only walk out of the Hall of Light slowly and elegantly.
For the whole continent knows that the Sun Knight is the most graceful of knights, and no matter what it is I may be doing, it will always be done gracefully and elegantly.
I had always admired my teacher, for regardless if he were merely standing or sitting or squatting, even when getting on or off his horse, or retreating (escaping), he would still look so graceful.
There was one thing that had particularly impressed me - one day, instead of knocking on the toilet door I had absentmindedly barged in before realising that it was in use. My teacher was squatting inside, shitting……
He had immediately put on the customary Sun Knight's smile, and, very elegantly finished doing his business, very elegantly wiped himself clean, very elegantly pulled on his trousers, and very elegantly grabbed me before beating me up - very elegantly, of course - for barging in without knocking.
My teacher had often said to me, "Child, you have to know that as a Sun Knight, even if you were to trip and fall, you still have to do it very gracefully."
I believe this was my punishment for forcing him to shit so elegantly, for I was constantly tripped up by him for a month, until I was able to trip and fall elegantly, anytime anywhere, no matter how suddenly and unexpectedly it may happen.
I had even managed to get a foreign visiting queen to donate 10,000 Gold coins to the Church of the God of Light for the 'medical bills', when I had fallen down the stairs so gracefully and elegantly in front of her.
However ever since that incident, I no longer dare to stand near the secretary of the Holy Temple, for I would often find a hand trying to push me down the stairs.
While it is annoying when I do trip and fall, or that I have to take extra care to ensure that the toilet door is locked, having to walk slowly and gracefully actually has an advantage.
Especially when I have to walk slowly and gracefully in the Hall of Light, it allows me to glance and 'record' passing beautiful female priests.
Yup, you heard me all right. It's 'record'!
The whole continent knows that the Sun Knight has pledged himself wholly to the God of Light, and is the most devoted of followers!
Therefore, the Sun Knight would never spare a glance for any women!
Even if a gorgeous babe as beautiful as a goddess with an hourglass figure were to stand butt naked right beside him, the Sun Knight would be completely unaffected, his gaze never wavering to her!
Bro, do you think any guy can actually achieve that?
But it's possible! My eyes truly never wavered in the slightest!
"Child, you are now fourteen years of age, it is time to teach you how to ogle women."
"Teacher, didn't you pledge yourself to the God of Light and have no thoughts to spare for any woman?"
"Child, I may have pledge myself as a knight to the God of Light, but the God of Light did not pledge herself to me as a woman. Therefore, if I need a woman, I can only look to mortal women to satisfy myself! "
"My child, I am telling you now that as a Sun Knight, even if there is a beautiful girl passing by, you may not turn to look at her. So you must learn the technique of gazing ahead of you, and record the girl's image in your mind when you look at her from the corner of your eyes. You can then review the images of the beautiful girls at your leisure, when you are back in your room!"
Hoho…… That one on the left there, she's not bad. Record!
Oh, hoho, that one coming up on my right, is she new? I've never seen her before, record!
I paused and turned around elegantly to see who had called for me. Fucking shit! Who fucking called me? I haven't recorded that new priest!
"Brother Frost, may the benevolent God of Light's loving caress melt that frozen expression of yours."
The Frost Knight is one of those who are not part of my faction.
What do I mean by this?
The whole continent knows that even among the Twelve Holy Knights, we are divided into two. On one side, led by the Sun Knight is the Warm Good Faction; while the other – the Cold Blood Faction, is led by the Judge Knight.
As you can guess from the names, the Warm Good Faction and the Cold Blood Faction do not get along well, and minor clashes between both factions are known to happen quite often.
"Sun, it is you who should learn to be as stern as the God of Light. You should not have so easily forgiven that useless king," said Frost emotionlessly. But this is not because he hates me or anything. Oh no, as the whole continent knows, the Frost Knight's face is forever frozen in an emotionless expression. Not even the burning hot sun can melt that icy expression of his.
"The compassionate God of Light tells me that all sinners could be redeemed. As long as there is a sliver of hope, I will try my best to save every single one of them," I said compassionately while secretly yawning. 'Usually', the Frost Knight does not say much; he just has to reply one more time, and we can be done with it.
"All sinners should get their just punishments; it is useless to keep giving them second chances!" And with that, Frost turn around to leave without letting me have a chance to answer.
This is what I like about him.
Frost Knight does not like fighting, but when the whole continent 'knows' that we do not get along, we have to argue at least a few words.
And as the whole continent knows, the Frost Knight is as cold as ice. Not only is he expressionless, he also hates talking; so him leaving abruptly is perfectly normal for a Frost Knight.
Even though we would argue for a bit every time we meet, we actually have a pretty good relationship. Frost Knight, who is skilled in Ice Magic, would often make me a bowl of snow cone during the hot summer seasons.
Of course, to show that we are on opposing sides, he would always argue with me for a bit before throwing a bowl at me; then as we argue some more, he would throw out his specially made blueberry syrup before using his Ice Magic to 'attack' me - shooting out ice all over me as well as into the bowl. Ahh… How cool and refreshing!
And so, I get my favourite blueberry flavoured snow cone while still keeping up the appearance that we dislike each other.
This is why I like this guy. So even though I am from the Warm Good Faction and he is a cold heartless person, and the whole continent knows that it's impossible for us to be friends, we could only become 'friends who are not friends'.
Speaking of friends, I think I should go and visit one of my 'friends', the Earth Knight.
The whole continent knows that the Earth Knight is a good, honest and down-to-earth person. He is rather muscular, but extremely shy, and stutters a lot……
"S-sorry, I'm not used to being around g-girls, a-and talk-talking with them……" Said the blushing Earth Knight while looking at his shoes.
This was the scene I interrupted when I entered the Earth Knight's room, hearing his conversation with the… 31st? 32nd? girl I've seen in his room.
He glared at me with darkly while yet still managing to keep a silly smile on his face and said, "Sun, y-you're back."
"Indeed, with the protection of the God of Light, I was able to fulfil Her hopes, and complete the mission that the Pope had entrusted me with."
"Is that so! Hahah, congratulations! Was there something you needed me for?" Earth smiled at me cheerfully.
However, I could see the impatience in his eyes.
"I was kindly reminded by the benevolent God of Light to come and say hello to my best friend, Earth. His grace, the Pope feels that these tasks may not be enough to let me fully understand the God of Light's great and loving teachings. Therefore, I will be immersing myself in the life outside the Temple to gain further appreciation of Her teachings. "
It means: This Sun Knight have been given a holiday!
I'm sure I could see an annoyed look in Earth's eyes. Fuck! If you are on holiday then fuck off already! The woman was staring at me dazedly. I'm quite sure she has no idea what I was talking about. You have to know me for at least three years to be able to decipher the true meaning from my speeches.
This is one of the main reasons why I can never get a girlfriend. Every time I attempt to flirt with a girl, they think that I am preaching to them, and will quickly hand over some donations to escape me.
"That's great, that you can get some holiday."
That silly and cheerful smile of his, hmph! I have no idea how many girls have been tricked by that innocent smile of his.
Storm may be a playboy who winks and ogles every woman, but he is actually a virgin; In contrast, Earth is a real womanizer, yet there have not been a single rumour about his womanizing ways, for the whole continent knows that the Earth Knight is an honest, down-to-earth guy; How can it be possible for this guy to be a womanizer?!
It's ridiculous! Just as ridiculous as the idea that the Sun Knight is a drunkard!
Even though this is the 31st or maybe 32nd woman I've caught him with in his room, this guy is still the number one of the Most Wanted Husband List.
I may be more handsome than Earth, and have a higher position than him with a higher salary, but I've never even been on the Most Wanted Husband List. Because every woman knows that the Sun Knight loves only the God of Light and does not love women.
That's why I hate him.
And funnily enough, every time I enter his room, he just happens to be wooing a girl, so he hates me too.
But as the whole continent knows, the Sun Knight and the Earth Knight are the best of friends……so we'll just have to be the best of friends (who hate each other).
I smiled the brightest smile I have - I've practiced this smile for ten years, I'll have you know - and saw the girl blush bright red. She ducked her head in embarrassment, yet could not bear to tear her gaze from me.
Well, I might not be on the Most Wanted Husband List, but I have been the winner of the Top 10 Hot Sunshine Guys for many consecutive years now. It's easy to make a woman temporarily forget about her 'most wanted husband'!
"Sun? Aren't you going off on your holiday?" he said with an honest and kind voice, but the fierce look in his eyes betrayed him. Really, his faking skills are as good as my smiling skills. "If you don't think up of a plan for your holiday, it'll be over before you know it."
I sighed, "Ah, it must be the God of Light passing on Her message through you to me, reminding me to spread her warmth and light to her people. Very well, I now say farewell to you, my friend."
Earth glared at me while he pasted on a look of anticipation on his face, and said sincerely, "Then till we meet again, my friend."
I smiled and nodded, and closed the door behind me happily. Hahaha! From the looks of that girl's idolising glance, Earth is doomed to fail with this conquest, hahaha!
Stopping others from getting their girl makes me really happy. Looks like my holiday is starting off on a good note.
Oh wait! I have one more thing to do before I start my holiday.
Now I mentioned earlier that Frost Knight and I actually get along with each other well, but among the Twelve Holy Knights, he is not the best friend. Before I go off on my holiday, I have to visit my real best friend, or he'll start complaining.
Ah, just as I expected. Not long after I had elegantly sat down on one of the two stools that I had brought along with me, a black haired, black eyed knight dressed all in black burst into the washroom and rushed for one of the toilet bowls before spewing out his guts.
Now, while I elegantly wait for him to empty his stomach, let me introduce him to you. This triple black guy(hair, eyes and clothes, not skin) is my best 'friend who is not a friend', the leader of the Cold Blood Faction – Judge Knight.
The whole continent knows of the Judge Knight, the most fearsome and cruel of the Twelve Holy Knights. Parents would scare their children into listening to them by threatening to send them to the Judge Knight, who is in charge of judging the sinners.
As I am the head of the Warm Good Faction, and Judge is the head of the Cold Blood Faction, we are sworn rivals.
I will always preach that "the God of Light will forgive all your sins."
While he will always claim that "the God of Light will punish you for your sins."
From this, it can be deduced that the God of Light has MPD……Multiple Personality Disorder!
'If the upper beam is not straight, the lower beam will be crooked'. It means that subordinates will imitate their superiors' vices. And so, all the Holy Knights are a little weird too.
The supposedly most fearsome and cruel Judge Knight had vomited right after his first interrogation.
Well, this should not be too surprising, as his first interrogation happened when he was only thirteen years old. It's only natural for a young boy to be shocked by the harsh interrogation methods – and there was torture included.
Although this was many years ago, I can still remember it clearly. My teacher had brought me along to his first interrogation session to meet the future Judge Knight, as well as to practice arguing with him.
Back then, I had felt very satisfied upon seeing the sinner – found guilty of multiple accounts of rape – tied to the cross and being whipped till his back was raw and bloody.
Are you aware that the Sun Knight can only love the God of Light and not women?! Do you know that because of the way that the Sun Knight has to speak, I can never get a woman?
And yet, you, you blasted rapist dare to use such a despicable way to get women! You make me feel so (envious)…… I mean, sick! You should be whipped till death!
Just then, my teacher had elbowed me, and I remembered that I was supposed to be practising my arguing with the future Judge Knight.
I immediately put on a horrified look and exclaimed, "Oh, this is just too cruel! How could you use such brutal methods on the God of Light's people? Even though he has sinned, there is still a chance that he may feel remorse for his actions and repent! The benevolent God of Light would never allow such cruel actions!"
All right, I went first, so it's now your turn.
When I glanced at my teacher, he had an approving look on his face, and I knew that I had begun the fight perfectly.
However, the black haired, black eyed and black clothed Little Judge Knight just kept quiet. I could have sworn that it was guilt and regret that flashed in his eyes, and there was a hint of tears welling up when I was admonishing him.
When he could no longer keep his tears from spilling out, he struggled out from his teacher's hold and ran away, knocking into me in the process.
"Child, why are you not going after him to teach him of the God of Light's merciful nature?" My teacher had patted me encouragingly.
What? No way? You still want me to continue reprimanding him when he's already in tears?......
"Remember to bring along a handkerchief, some clean water and two stools with you." After giving me this strange instruction, he turned around to begin the argument with his rival – the God of Light's benevolence versus Her stern and punishing nature - Round XXX.
And so, I followed my teacher's instructions and hurried off after my future rival with a pail of water, a handkerchief and two stools.
In the end, I found him in a washroom not too far off from the interrogation building, where he was throwing up everything he had eaten in the past three days.
I stood there waiting for him till my legs became tired, and, remembering the two stools, I gave one to my rival, while I sat on the other.
And there I sat waiting till he was finally done.
When I saw his dishevelled state, I naturally handed him the handkerchief and pail of water. He took them distractedly and started cleaning himself up.
So, that's what the stools, handkerchief and pail of water were for. I wondered if my teacher had gone through a similar experience with his rival?
The future Judge Knight quietly washed the handkerchief before returning it to me. He did not thank me, for the Sun Knight and the Judge Knight are archrivals, we each represent two different sides of the God of Light and should never get along.
We just quietly stared at each other; I did not want to lecture him on the God of Light's benevolence, and he did not wish to argue back about the God of Light's stern and unforgiving nature.
And it was from then on that we had a mutual agreement to meet up at the washroom to exchange words of the God of Light's benevolence and unforgiving nature. I would bring along the stools, handkerchief and a pail of water; and he would bring the tea and snacks prepared beforehand.
Well, as you know, you always feel hungry after throwing up, right?
Although the snacks he brings are always ones that he dislikes, but that which I love the most – the super sweet type.
Back to the present, the Judge Knight has finally finished vomiting, and as usual, he accepts the water and handkerchief I hand him, while saying, "Sun, it has been a long time since you last came here, I thought that you had finally understood that the God of Light's stern justice is the only way to stop the sinners from doing wrong."
He's complaining that it's been a long time since I last visited him.
"The benevolence of the God of Light exists not only within the Holy Temple. Even the king's castle is under her care, and the king wished to learn more of Her holy teachings. "
I was sent to 'teach' that fat pig a 'lesson'.
"The king must have scoffed at you and your mild teachings. Only the stern nature of the God of Light can let him understand the error of his ways."
That fat king must have been difficult. Judge gave me a pitying look.
"With the help of the Brother Storm, the king was finally able to gain enlightenment of the God of Light's benevolent teachings."
It was all thanks to Storm, or else that pig would never have reduced the tax.
"Storm Knight must have deeply regretted that he had not given a stern lecture to those in the castle. Can his eyes not see all the sinners in the castle?"
The castle is filled with women…… are his eyes OK?
"He did indeed gaze upon the sins within the castle. Even though he was saddened by them, he still accepts and embraces them all with the God of Light's forgiving nature."
His eyes nearly went bust.
"May the God of Light not punish him for standing by without bringing all the sinners to justice."
Poor guy……hope his eyes get better soon.
"The pope has already passed on Her support to him, and told him that the warm healing sun outside will embrace him for three days. This Sun feels happy and grateful that I, too, could share her gentle teachings with him."
He was given three days off. Same with me.
"May the hot midday sun teach both of you of Her stern justice. For no matter where you go, She will always be there to punish those who sin."
Hope you guys have a good time! Where do you plan to go to?
"The light of the Benevolent God shines upon every inch of this land, even be it this lowly Sun Knight's room."
I'm going to stay in my room and sleep.
Judge's stern face cracked to reveal a small smile. Shaking his head, he handed over his share of the snacks to me. "May you one day receive Her stern teachings."
"And may you one day receive her gentle messages."
I bit down on one of the snacks; Mmm…. Blueberry flavour, my favourite.
Now, even though I told Judge I would be sleeping for the whole three days…… What? What are you giving me that look for? You don't believe that I will really spend all of my holiday sleeping?
What's that? Go pick up girls at a bar?
Don't be silly, I don't want to earn money for the Church! Before I can even woo them into my bed, they'll have thrown money at me to stop my 'preaching'.
Oh? Why don't I just go drinking instead (since I love drinking)?
Are you crazy?
Don't you remember who I am?
I'm the Sun Knight! How can the Sun Knight-who is well known for passing out after only three cups, go drinking in a pub?
You don't really think that just 'cause I'm on vacation, I can stop being a Sun Knight for three days, do you?
My teacher often said to me, "A Sun Knight is for life. So smile even till your very last breath!"
So even when on vacation, I am the Sun Knight still; the only difference being that I am 'a Sun Knight on vacation'.
Even when on vacation, I have to paste this smile on my face.
Even when on vacation, I have to praise the God of Light with each sentence I speak.
Even when on vacation, I may only record passing beauties.
So. I'd rather spend my time cooped up in my room sleeping than to go out and keep up the act. In my room, I am free to express myself in any way I want, I have no need to watch what I say, and I can fantasize about all the lovely ladies I've recorded……
And while in my room, I can enter the secret trapdoor hidden beneath my bed. It leads to a secret underground cellar filled with barrels of wine made by the last Sun Knight, and the Sun Knight before him, and the Sun Knight before him……. At the same time, in thanks for the wine left behind by previous Sun Knights, as well as for the future well 'drinking' of future Sun Knights to come, I too, have to do my share and make my specialty-apple wine.
My teacher often said, "Child, if your sword skills are poor, the worst that can happen is that you die earlier in a fight. If your holy skills are poor, the worst that can happen is that you won't be able to heal the sick; in that case, just say a prayer or two and pray that he joins Her holy presence soon. But! You must make sure that you have your wine making skills down pat, or else the Sun Knights in coming generations will curse you for depleting the wine cellar without replenishing it!"
My teacher's speciality was grape wine; hence there is an abundance of grape wine in the cellars for me. Similarly, my speciality is apple wine, so my future student will have a cellar full of apple wine to enjoy.
Although, to make my apple wine, I have to constantly sneak apples from the kitchens. Now, the cooks all think that this Sun Knight loves apples. But this couldn't be further from the truth. I like apples as much as I like Earth; that is, not at all!
So, to avoid smiling; to avoid speaking of the benevolent God of Light; to avoid seeing anymore apples……
I think it's best that I lock myself in my room and sleep. Oh, and not to mention, the difficult task of maintaining my skin's fair condition.
What! You think it's unmanly for me to care for my skin? Well, it's not like I want to!
The whole continent knows that the Sun Knight is a golden haired, blue eyed, fair skinned hottie!
To become the fair skinned hottie of the legends, every Sun Knight eventually becomes an expert at making whitening masks. Although, I do believe that I'm one of the better ones in this particular aspect.
I know I'm called the Sun Knight, but I really do hate the sun, for no reason other than that my skin darkens easily. For every day that I spend under the sun, I have to apply a whitening mask for a whole night, just to salvage my fair skin.
It was precisely because I had such a hard time keeping up the image of a fair skinned Sun Knight that I became proficient at putting together whitening masks, as well as researching newer and better recipes. After all, the Sun Knight is expected to have glowing fair skin, even if he had spent a whole day fighting evil monsters under the blazing sun, and I have to keep up with that image.
This is best recipe I've developed so far:
- Soured milk
- 10 drops of lemon juice
- Extract from 30 roses
- Extract from 10 lavenders
Mix all ingredients thoroughly before applying onto body. Steam yourself for 1 hour.
(Note: Don't try this at home. This Sun Knight is a trained expert, and unless you are one too, don't try this at home!)
With this recipe, it is guaranteed that even if I train under the sun for a whole day, my skin will only be a mere shade darker than usual the next day.
Actually, I secretly believe that the first Sun Knight was an albino.
Or else, how could he have maintained his fair skin even after training, battling and lecturing kings, all under the blazing hot sun? Even to the extent that he could have left the impression of a fair skinned hottie even until today?
But there is one thing that I hate-even more than Earth, or apples. Why is it that, every single time I have disrobed and started putting on the whitening mask, someone will always come knocking at my door?!
'Knock, knock, knock!'
You see! Just as I said! Shit! I must be cursed!
Sadly, I'm becoming accustomed to it and have resigned myself to expecting the interruptions.
"May I ask which brother of mine has come seeking me under the guidance of the benevolent God of Light?"
He better have a good reason for interrupting me! Or he'll get a face full of my whitening mask!
"It's me, Leaf. Thank goodness you're here. Hurry! Undead creatures have been spotted in the city."
Leaf Knight? Ah, he's one of the Good Warm Faction, and one of the Twelve Knights that I actually like.
The reason-he really is a good guy.
"Brother Leaf, please wait for a brief moment. I was kindly reminded by the God of Light to always present one's self to the world with a clean and tidy demeanour."
No matter how important it is, I still have to wipe off all this whitening paste, and put on some clothes.
Otherwise, the others might mistake me for the undead, and attack me instead. Even I have to admit that with the way I am right now, I look no better than a rotting undead corpse.
"That's alright. Take your time, Sun. I'll hold off the undead for now. Don't worry, I'll definitely leave some for you to deal with!" And with that, Leaf Knight turned and left hurriedly.
See how nice he is? Why, if I were a woman, I'd definitely tell him-softly and gently, "You're the best!"
The whole continent knows that the Sun Knight hates the undead the most, for these creatures go against the God of Light's every principles. These dark creatures that violate the very laws of death itself are completely opposed to the light filled Sun Knight; the very sight of an undead creature is enough to drive the Sun Knight crazy. The undead are the only creatures that the Sun Knight cannot forgive.
What this means for me is that I can shout and howl in anger, and slash and stab them. I can release all my pent up anger, aggravation, and resentment-from having to smile all the time, having to speak of the God of Light with every sentence I utter, having to ignore women, having to apply a whitening mask every other day-all my frustrations can be released upon them!
My teacher often said to me, "My child, you will often have to go looking for undead creatures."
"To carry out the Sun Knight's vow to eradicate all undead creatures, you mean?"
"Not at all. It's because you have use them as an outlet for your frustrations."
"Think about it. Every day, you have to constantly smile and forgive every single person and sing praises of the God of Light with each sentence you speak. If you never vent out your emotions, you'll get depressed, and won't be able to carry out your duties as the Sun Knight capably; if you can't do your job well, you might get fired; with you losing your job, you'll get even more depressed till at last, you will depart this world and join the God of Light. Surely you don't want this scenario happening, do you? "
"Well, that is why you will have to vent your pent up emotions on the undead at least once every month, understand?"
"But what if I can't find any?"
"Not to worry, my child. Here, take this business card. It's for a necromancer specially contracted by the Church. Not only can you request for any type of undead creature, you can put the expenses on the Church's tab."
So, to avoid falling into a depression, to avoid losing my job and to avoid meeting the God of Light too soon, I quickly scraped of all the whitening paste of my body and got ready to vent all my frustrations on the unsuspecting undead.
Thank God I had yet to begin the steaming process.
Wet paste is definitely easier to scrape off than the dried mask. If you don't believe me, next time slap some glue onto yourself and see which one is easier to scrape off; the wet part? Or the dried part?
(Word of advice, though… I have been specially trained. So if you aren't, well… I won't be held responsible for the consequences for said experiment.)
Back when my teacher was teaching me how to apply a whitening mask for the first time, he forgot to tell me something very important. When he had remembered and rushed back, the mask had already dried, and I was in the process of scraping it off……
"My child! No matter what you do, don't apply the paste onto your 'important bits', or else……"
Since then, not a single hair has grown around my most important bits.
My teacher had always felt guilty for not warning me in time, and so ever since, he took extra care when teaching me not to leave out anything else.
But back to the story, I easily washed away all the paste with no problems; although, together along with the paste are all my effort (and money), flowing down the drain. The Church refused to pay for my expenses-rose and lavender extract don't come cheap!
And so I watched sadly as my salary flowed down the drain…… Damn it! I'm going to release all my anger and frustrations on those damned undead creatures!
I put on my uniform, grabbed a sword and kicked open my door. Luckily Leaf, that nice guy, had thoughtfully instructed an apprentice to lead me to the fight, for I had no idea where the undead creatures were.
Leaf! I swear that when I'm done venting my frustrations, I will suggest that the Holy Temple issue you a Good Knight Certificate.
Friday, 28 January 2011
I am a knight. To be more precise, I am the Church of the God of Light's Sun Knight.
That’s right. I’m the Church of the God of Light’s representative.
Therefore, no matter what the circumstances I have to always smile as brilliantly as the sun, even if right now I am going to meet with the most hated and disgusting King Fat Pig of Forgotten Echo (a country), I still have to smile as if I were going to meet with a gorgeous babe.
To force myself to think of the Fat Pig as a beauty, sigh… Bro, do you now realise how difficult this is?
In contrast with The Church of the God of Light’s representative, the Storm Knight is a ‘carefree’ knight, hence he is ‘carefree’ and a ‘flirt’. If it’s possible to skip, he’ll skip the meeting! As long as a woman looks just slightly better than a dragon, he has to wink at her.
Why, you ask?
Because the whole continent knows that the Storm Knight is blue haired!
So, every Storm Knight has to dye their hair for the rest of their lives, and eight out of ten have died from the build up of hair dye chemicals in their body…… Sigh… Storm, I will pray for you now.
“Sun, did you say something to me?” Storm raised an irritated eyebrow, appearing to be annoyed that I had interrupted his flirting.
Back then, my teacher - the previous Sun Knight - had sadly announced my victory; and from beginning till end, his gaze was solely fixed on that brown haired boy.
Thank goodness for small miracles though. Even though my sword skills weren’t as good as that prodigy, my teacher was comforted by the fact that I am actually highly competent in other areas.
Although… I did often hear him quietly ask the private investigators, “have you found the brown haired boy yet? I’ve gotten the special hair dye from the magician…”
Yes, the ever smiling Sun Knight.
With my perfect smile in place, I kneeled down - while fighting the urge to throw up - and lightly kissed his fat hand, and said, “Your Majesty, Sun Knight of the Church of the God of Light brings you the good wishes of the kind and gentle God of Light.”
“Enough, enough! You say that every single time, yet every time you have brought me nothing but troubles and headaches!”
As if it wasn’t you who stirred up trouble first! Do you actually think I like coming to see how much fatter you’ve grown?!
I innocently smiled and explained, “Your Majesty, the God of Light spreads her benevolence over the whole land, seeking only to spread Her teachings of justice and forgiveness to the people, and not to create troubles for Your Majesty. If there has been some kind of misunderstanding, I feel terribly sorry for it, and hope that Your Majesty will allow me a chance to clear up this misunderstanding.”
“Enough!” the King had a tired look on his face upon hearing this long spiel. “Quickly, state your objective for coming here!”
“Since long time ago, the benevolence and love of the God of Light has covered the land, each and every person is Her beloved child. Is there any parent who does not wish the best for their children? There aren’t; and so too does the God of Light wish that Her children may live out their days in happiness, with good food and warm clothing. But while She may be an all powerful God, She cannot go against the rules of the Gods and interfere with mortals, and so She can only pass on this wish of Hers to those of Her Church and trust to leave Her beloved children’s fate to the Kings chosen by the Heavens……”
Here, the King rudely gave a loud yawn.
Damn you, you old fool, you only have to listen to it, you have no idea how difficult it is for me to say it!
“……However, the taxes these few years have made it rather difficult for the people to continue on. Even though this lowly Sun Knight has no way of knowing the thoughts of the God of Light, I thought to myself that surely the kind God of Light would not want to see Her children in such troubles? Oh dear, that Her children are living out such hard lives! Why this must be hurting Her greatly, and that She is hurting so much makes this Sun Knight feel ashamed. I feel unworthy of Her trust in me, letting Her children live in such hard times……”
The king started dozing off. The ministers standing at his side began to take out official documents and were showing them to the Crown Prince for his approval-for the Crown Prince is actually the one in charge of the state affairs.
Storm Knight, who has been standing beside me had already winked at every woman in the room and was preparing to wink at each of them for the second time.
“……Even under these poor circumstances, the people still look up to their king with love and respect, and pay the full tax; what a great show of devotion! Such loyalty should be rewarded. I know that raising the taxes is a necessary evil, but in the face of such devotion from your people, perhaps you should show some appropriate response, so as not to fail the God of Light’s hopes for us.”
Oh, I’m so grateful! I finally reached the main point of my speech. That’s it, reduce the taxes! Damn fat pig, you’ve already collected their harvest, what the hell are you doing asking for more tax collections? Do you really want the people to revolt against you?!
“What?” Suddenly wide awake, the king slammed his meaty hand on the table and shouted, “If I don’t collect additional tax, how am I supposed to refurbish my castle?!”
No……Don’t force me to speak again! I’m am already in great agony.
“Your Majesty” Said Storm Knight casually, “If you are to insist on raising taxes, the Church of the God of Light will not bother to do anything should something unfortunate were to happen.”
Simple and direct! You said it, Storm! I’m so grateful to youuuu! But on the surface, I put on a reproving look and scolded, “Storm, how can you say such things to His Majesty? This goes against the God of Light’s principles”
Storm just shrugged. Theoretically, he has to listen to the orders of the head of the Twelve Holy Knights, me, so he did not speak again. But everything that needed to be said has already been said, so it didn’t really matter.
But it’s all right; the whole continent knows that the Storm Knight has never cared about rules and good manners, so nobody got angry with what he said.
“Th-this is a threat!” The king trembled with fury.
“Oh, Your Majesty, please don’t misunderstand, the God of Light would never use such underhanded tactics…”
But the Church of the God of Light will.
“We feel sympathy for the people who have to live such hard lives… ”
Die you fat pig, it would not be good for both of us should the people revolt! And especially the Holy Temple too; we would have to settle the revolt without getting any kind of payment in return! If you know what’s best then revoke the order for the tax increase, or else we’ll stand by and watch as you are torn apart by the angry mobs, and help to crown the Crown Prince!
“Hmm… Crown Prince, the Pope told me he greatly appreciates you. I wonder when the day will come when I can call you my King?” The Storm Knight bantered with the Crown Prince.
“Please give the Pope my thanks for his praise,” replied the Crown Prince politely.
Hahaha! Not bad, Storm! Another simple and effective threat!
If you don’t revoke the order, we’ll force you to abdicate the throne! You can’t do anything to your very capable son anyway.
Hallelujah! I can finally return to the Holy Temple with the mission completed. Within the Holy Temple, there is no one who would force me to speak! I can happily be a silent Sun Knight!
“However, since you are rarely come all the way out here, we should hold a banquet. You must have a drink with me, or I’ll get upset!” The king grinned evilly.
At this point, even Storm gave me a concerned look.
The whole continent knows that the Sun Knight never drinks. Should he drink a cup, his face will turn red; at two cups, he will get a splitting headache; and after three cups, he will pass out.
I gave a wry smile and looked rather reluctant, but this is obviously an act for the king. After all, he had been threatened twice within a day, I have to give him some sort of small victory or else he may make troubles for the Holy Temple in the future.
“This Sun will…try his best” I pretended to reluctantly yield to him, and knelt before him as etiquette dictated.
“Hahaha, servants! Get the feast ready, and bring out my strongest alcohols!” The king ordered, and the Crown Prince shot me a look of apology. He had been unable to stop his father from raising the tax and had to secretly ask the Holy Temple to interfere in this matter.
Although busy winking and ogling at the women, Storm was still able to shoot me concerned looks.
What are you worried for? I’m a strong drinker!
That’s right. The Sun Knight who is said to be unable to hold his liquor after three cups, is actually a drunkard.
Reflecting back several years ago, when my teacher had brought me to a secret underground cellar……
“My child, the lesson for today is on how to drink alcohol.”
“What? But teacher, isn’t the Sun Knight said to be unable to hold his liquor?”
“The Sun Knight will always forgive others, but how many times have you really forgiven anyone?”
“None so far”
“The Sun Knight is forever smiling, how many times have you really smiled sincerely?”
“Only a few times……”
“The Sun Knight is a benevolent person, are you really benevolent?”
“Child, if you do not learn how to drink, how can you keep up the act of going red after one cup, getting a headache after two, and passing out after the third?
“So the saying that Sun Knights being unable to hold their liquor is built on the basis that Sun Knights are actually strong drinkers.”
It sounds logical, yet so contradictory!
“Drink up, child. This whole month, you can only drink wine, no water; drink until you can drink wine like you drink water.”
Back to reality. At the banquet, I was only in attendance for 10 minutes, for under the encouragement of the king, I ‘passed out’ after my third cup.
Great! I can finally go back to my room and sleep.
Poor Storm who has to keep up his Storm Knight appearance, is still winking at every women at the banquet. And with the number of ladies in attendance……He’s going to get a cramp in his eye.